


leave a mess behind

by suspended_in_gaffa



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e10 Dennis' Double Life, can you tell this was written before s13 premiered?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suspended_in_gaffa/pseuds/suspended_in_gaffa
Summary: Dennis just needs Mac to know one thing.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds





	leave a mess behind

As you trudge back to your apartment to pack your things, you think about the last time you tried to leave him.  


It was years ago now. When you could _actually_ still pass for twenty (or twenty-something, anyway). When you hadn’t fucked up your life yet (or at least you hadn’t fucked it up beyond repair, and if you did, your poor son wouldn’t have to suffer for it). When your lives revolved around each other, and he was the only thing you needed to care about.

You told him you weren’t “flourishing.” You almost want to laugh thinking about it now, not just because of your dramatic choice of words (in fact, it doesn’t even occur to you to laugh at that- you’ve always been one for pageantry). But that was when you thought you could ever flourish. You’re a broken person, and you were even back then, and you’ll never be more than that.

_If you’re going to be a wreck anyway, why not be a wreck with him?_ You quickly try to shove the thought out of your mind. _If you’re going to be a wreck anyway, why not make sure your son learns from your mistakes and grows up not to be?_ You nod to yourself blankly. And honestly? Mac is so goddamn close to just pouring his heart out and confessing his love to you. He’s so close saying it. He basically already has. And once he does, this will all collapse anyway, so shouldn’t you leave before the storm hits?

_No,_ you think, as you pack up your toiletries and catch a faint whiff of his cologne. _God, no. Isn’t leaving taking action? Isn’t taking action just self-destructing even more? Why not just stay?_ You’re muttering to yourself now without realizing it. _I love him too,_ you dare to think for a split second, before cursing at yourself. _This is about Brian, not about Mac,_ you tell yourself over and over again, repeating it compulsively as you walk back to the bar so you can get your Range Rover, drive to the airport, and ditch this mess of a city for good. _It may have been good for dramatic emphasis to walk home from the bar,_ you think, _but it was not a practical choice._ Your head and feet ache from the weight of the exhausting day you’ve had. You want to just fall asleep, but you know that if you sleep on this, you’ll make the wrong decision in the morning. You need to leave, and you need to leave now, before you can do anything to stop yourself.

You reach the street. You do a double take, and sure enough, your car has been set on fire, presumably by the rocket launcher that was supposed to be for you.

Your heart sinks. You call Mac.

* * *

He arrives minutes later, ready to be yelled at, ready to act like he doesn’t care that you’re leaving, ready to laugh it all off. You’re calling a cab to the airport before he has the opportunity to explain himself.

“Okay, before you yell at me-” he begins, after you get off the phone, but you don’t even hear him. You grab him by the waist and press your lips to his. His eyes are wide at first, but he settles into the kiss, cupping your head in his hands. 

“Mac, I love you.”

“Dennis…” He’s breathless for a second, wide-eyed and beaming. “I love you too.”

He’s always handsome, but in this moment, he’s beautiful. Too beautiful to leave behind.

“I’ll miss you,” you say anyway.  


“Wait, what? You’re still going?” He’d usually shout, but he doesn’t. He just sounds sad, like a lost child.  


“Mac, I have to,” you say softly. “I’m sorry,” you add, and it might be the first time you’ve apologized to him.  


“What was all of that, then?” He’s getting indignant.

“I just needed you to know.”  


He looks you right in the eyes, eyebrows furrowed in anger and hurt and sadness, mouth open like he’s about to say something. His eyes fill with tears before he gets the chance.

“Okay,” he chokes out. “Great timing dude.”  


You sit down on the curb and don’t reply.

“Bye, I guess,” he says. You remain silent. You’ve said your last words to him, and it’s over now. He needs to leave before you change your mind. 

Sure enough, he storms away (one last time). You’re left alone on the side of the road in the dark, which you guess is what you deserve. You’re so far out of your own mind that you don’t even notice when tears start dripping down your own face, not until the cab driver finally pulls up and gives you a funny look. You wipe your face with your sleeve and get in. “To the airport,” you say, and you lean your head against the cool glass window, half falling asleep as you watch the place you called home disappear into the distance. 

* * *

You don’t know if you love Mandy, and you’re pretty sure you don’t. You don’t know if you love Brian, but you’re pretty sure you want to. You’re pretty sure you love Mac, but you don’t know if you want to. 

All you know with certainty is that wherever you go, you leave a fucking mess behind.


End file.
